"Pixwittiness," as in "gee, Pixwit, you're pixwittiness is soooo clever." (Valid, to the point . . . but oh soooo obvious. So what if the Pixwit has a stupid little name? Let him who is without sin cast the first stone, you bushy, bush-league Bushites . . . you gay-bashing, fetus-enshrining "Christians." Besides, sarcasm is a filthy habit.)
"Cliche ridden," as in "Pixwit, your stuff is soooo cliche ridden." (But cliches are the Pix's stock in trade, his raw material, his medium, his oxygen, all that he's got. Why don't you stop breathing and see what you come up with?)
"You're just gross, Pixwit!" (And the stuff it's about is . . . ? Hey, don't blame the messenger!)
"Pixwit, you're hateful!" (No, that's hate-a-ble.)
"Hey, Pixie! What's with all the boobie stuff? Overcompensating?" (Ouch! The Pixwit hates that "latent" talk. It makes him wanna just strap on his tutu and heels and pirouette all over someone's big, hairy hiney.)
"You're an irreverent, facetious fool, Pixwit. Have you no shame?" (The Pixwit thanks you and admits he never in his wildest dreams expected you to resort to abject flattery so soon. Actually, the Pixwit reveres many of the same things you probably do, things like liberty and justice, but he has no use for phoney reverence, not to be confused with mock reverence, or for reverencing things phoney.)
"Larceny," as in "you stold [sic] that, Pixwit." (The Pixwit is a "borrower." So maybe he is a sniveling little ingrate of a borrower who delights in mocking his lenders . . . hey, it's a parody thing. But so what? The Pixwit's flattered you thimk him something more substantial.)
"Don't you got nuttin' better to do, Pixwit?" (Actually, we could all stand to multitask more during potty time.)
"Pixwit, you're soooo creative . . . NOT!" (You using the words creative and Pixwit in the same sentence is sorta like a TV evangelist saying whores do good work. High-end, sophisticated whores too, the Pixwit would like to thimk.)
"That ain't even funny!" (So what? The Pixwit thimks it is, and when you get right down to it, what else matters?)
"Yuck!" (There is such a thing as horribly funny — literally. We laugh, or maybe we're rigid enough not to, but either way we're embarrassed, which is all part of the fun for our primitive reptilian brains. Maybe we should just cut out the middleman and simply be embarrassed about our world.)
"Pixwit, you ugly mutha... " (Finally one that works!)
Don't see your favorite Pixwit slur here? Well, let the Pixwit know and he'll get right on it.
